There have been many moments over the last year or so that I have compared myself to Job, the biblical character whose faith is actively tried by Satan’s persecutions, with God’s sanction. A wealthy man who literally loses everything except his life, Job maintains his faith in God’s goodness despite being subjected to every type of personal assault- loss of enormous wealth, his home, his health and his family.
I have repeatedly reread this story over the last eighteen months and tried to use it to keep from losing my own faith. Recently, I have felt assaulted by the enemy and abandoned by God. I have railed against God and openly questioned where his protection is? Though I have yet to curse God, like Job’s wife suggests he do, I have had some pretty frank criticisms for him
Two days ago I realized how foolish my comparison has been. Upon returning from a run, I read a text that my ex-wife had sent responding to my request to speak with my kids:
‘Kids can’t talk. Tali in hospital.’
That was it. My heart instantly froze in my chest and I nearly collapsed. I tried to call my ex but got no answer. I tried calling other members of her family, my panic rising by the minute. It was a terrifying half hour before I received a follow up text telling me that everything was OK.
It puts everything back in perspective. My assaults of the past year have been related to money, finding a publisher, my ego and questions about the future; but I have been healthy, and more importantly, my kids have been healthy, happy and secure.
Job lost everything in a very short period of time, through no fault of his own. He is then subjected to a variety of bad advice from everyone else in his life. I have had financial challenges (related to my own mistakes) and have had good friends and family to support me. I haven’t lost anything very important. In fact, I have been very blessed.
So, my apologies to Job for making inappropriate comparisons. And my thanks, as well, for showing that despite whatever Satan can throw at us, God is ultimately in charge, and he is on our side.